Conan The Barbarian (2011) [HD]

Looks great, nice action, but needed more depth
Since this 2011 film is a remake/reboot of the '82 version of Conan the Barbarian I'll draw comparisons throughout this review.

Although the film's set-up is the same as the '82 version -- raiders destroy Conan's Cimmerian village and thus the barbarian seeks revenge -- the ensuing story is completely different. The villains here are Khalar Zym and his witchy daughter, Marique, who seek to resurrect Zym's sorcerous wife, once they attain the needed pure blood necessary for their Acheron magic (or something to this effect).

WHAT WORKS:

- Jason Momoa, as Conan, is excellent. Far better than Arnie. It's hard to conceive of a better Conan.
- The Bulgarian locations are outstanding.
- The Costuming is more convincing than the '82 version. Conan's apparel, for instance, is more faithful to REH than Arnie's fur loincloth.
- Better acting than the '82 version, excluding...

A missed opportunity
Despite it's mammothly disappointing box office take and lukewarm reviews, I still looked forward to seeing this remake/reboot/re-whatever of Conan the Barbarian. In all honesty, the film has a lot going for it, with some brilliant visual set pieces and set designs that wonderfully bring pulp writer Robert E. Howard's savage world to life, but other than that, the film itself feels oh so empty. Jason Momoa (Game of Thrones) stars as Conan, the Cimmerian warrior seeking vengeance for the destruction of his people at the hands of warlord Khalar Zym (a scene-chewing Stephen Lang), and in turn embarks on a quest to save all of Hyboria as Zym's master plan begins to come to fruition. Along for the ride are Rose McGowan as Zym's witchy daughter, and hottie Rachel Nichols as the pawn in Zym's plot; granted neither of them have all that much to work with. In fact, nearly the entire cast of Conan the Barbarian do little to make things memorable, other than Stephen Lang. The film's story...

...to wield it you must first understand it.
Yeah, and the producers/writers/director/whomever clearly do not understand the character or stories of Conan hence they do not wield it effectively. As a Sword & Sorcery film it was okay, at best. As a Conan story it was terrible. As with the Milius version we get yet another sentimental version of the character. Conan was many things in his fictional career, indeed he has been a thief, pirate, military and mercenary Captain, even a desert chieftain and finally King. But sentimental? Nope, sorry. Given my experience of reading the character I feel Conan would view sentimentality as a weakness.

I knew something was wrong during the narrative intro by an oddly misplaced Morgan Freeman voiceover (the first time I didn't like him in something). The voice over started off correctly but then deviated wildly from the history of Hyborea. Conan is made to stand out as something special, unique and somehow important. This time he is gifted with near superhuman skills and abilities...

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